Lone Wolf: Arsonist, Vegan, Ladies Man

Violent Vegan Torches Sheepskin Store Because Wolves Eat Sheep and His Nickname is Wolf-related

Original story on Globalgazette.com | Saturday, July 24, 2010

I’d rather not have this blog become a source for dumb criminal stories, despite my own being its key inspiration. With the hilarity so universally associated with excuse-makers, I do realize that this will be an uphill climb, but there are plenty of other sites on the Internet to showcase the antics of Darth Vader bank robbers and car thieves who by some means immolate themselves.

The reason I’m so attracted to this story, though, is that it reminds me of two significant points on my own road: one in L.A. in the early ‘80s when the Animal Liberation Front literature crept into the L.A. punk scene and the other on a yard full of guys with big bold fonts on their throats.

This Walter Bond character is an arsonist who found a reason to set things on fire, a classic example of the cause finding the joiner and not the other way around, where there’s a genuine principle to defend or a personal battle to fight. Bond’s affidavit, courtesy of our friends at theSmoking Gun, says what we don’t need to, regarding the obvious behavior associated with chicken-shit fire setters. It’s enough to know that Bond, who went by “Lone Wolf,” felt compelled to burn something – probably anything, really. We care that Bond saw this store’s products as representative of animals hunted by wolves only as much as we can hear the laughter coming from the Denver District Attorney’s office.

Reminder number two, and the real question for Bond is, does he have any idea how many mean muther-effin’ fools on the yard are gonna’ see his neck and demand, “Yo fool, who’s your people? What the hell does Vegan mean? What’s with the crossed tools?” What’s he going to say? Will he respond with what the Animal Liberation Front website states, that veganism is based on the principle of least harm to all creatures? If he does, he’ll get throat-punched immediately and be laughed at for a week – while others target him. If he doesn’t, he’ll get throat-punched immediately for roaming without an affiliation. No protection? No friends? Double throat-punch. And when they hear about Lone Wolf, there’ll be another round of throat punching.

Hell, when ol’ Bondsy sees the menu inside, he’ll throat-punch himself!