Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

Check out Where Excuses Go to Die on Facebook!

Saturday, September 15th, 2012

Where Excuses Go to Die will be available in print and in all device formats January 2013.

Meanwhile, a Where Excuses Go to Die Facebook page lets me share what it’s like trying to get this story told; from the disappointed looks I get when I claim to have better hooks than rape, riots, and rotten food to rejection letters and go-for-its I’ve received along the way. There’ve been loonies attracted in the process, constant smoke being blown up my ass, and the dread of asking others to read pages. What a whole separate pathology that is! (Worse than issuing or accepting a personal loan.) And such fun, dealing with those who assume I’m a profit-hungry offender out for a payoff! Finally, there’s being along for the ride as the publishing world makes an ass of itself as it tries not to go out like the record industry. It’s all a completely separate journey from having paid my debt to society for robbing, um, bookstores. (more…)


Friday, December 23rd, 2011

2012: The War on Big Talk

By not following through on things, I’ve caused more damage to my self-image and confidence than all of the frustrations or bad luck the world has ever thrown at me. 

The older I get, the harder the could’ves and should’ves tend to bite. On the other hand, when I start something and I finish it, I feel like I have a full tank of gas and a wallet full of cash. The feeling is like body armor against the bullet points on lists of others’ accomplishments: (more…)

Sidewalk Etiquette: Excuse Me or Excuse You?

Monday, November 28th, 2011

What’s your response when some self-absorbed Facebook profile marches into you because she’s looking at a phone?

As a general rule, I (very clearly) say, “excuse you.” The same goes for when I’m blatantly cut off or elbowed. And especially at holiday time, my amusement grows in direct proportion to the indignation of the offender.

Today, on a sidewalk between Barnes & Noble and Banana Republic, a woman and I collided when her UGGs continued to trudge as she texted. Her eyes were still on the screen when she heard “excuse you” as I stepped around and away from her.

Inside B&N not four minutes later, I heard behind me an indignant voice saying, “…and this asshole son-of-a-bitch said, ‘excuse you,’ to me – shuh!” Having angrily brushed past me with the phone now at her ear, she’d pulled a U-turn outside and followed me into the store. Now she stopped and awaited the reaction to which evidentially felt entitled. She was suddenly a victim and was hissing the details of her ordeal to a friend – if there was anyone on the other end of her phone. (more…)

Coming Soon: Facebook Murders!

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

Any day now, someone’s gonna beat a murder rap with a groan-inducing, precedent-setting “Facebook defense.”

How long until someone founds Facebook Anonymous, where folks 12-step their way to freedom from Facebook – anonymously? I can see it now: FA, a program dedicated to anonymously relieving you of your inability to live unidentified. Of course Step 1 is admitting you’re powerless over Facebook, that you’d rather spend 127 hours hacking at your own arm with a dull blade than disconnect from feeling “a part of…” Bet on it. It’s a joke now, but it won’t be for long. (more…)

“I’m His Mother, But He’s Not My Son”

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

Michigan SuperMom Given Nine Years for Sex with 14-Year-old Biological Son – And Begins Human Extinction Process

Original story on | Tuesday, July 13, 2010

id•i•ot – id-ee-uht  – noun
1. an utterly foolish or senseless person.
Synonyms: half-wit, imbecile, moron

It’s difficult not to write this woman off an idiot, so if I refer to her as an idiot many, many times, A) it’s my opinion, and, B) generally speaking, idiots do things like this.

By now you’ve heard the story, but for those who haven’t, Aimee L. Sword gave up her son when he was an infant, receiving birthday photos over the years from the boy’s adoptive family.  When he was old enough to start a Facebook account she allegedly contacted him, cross-purposing the website with treachery and sickness. Before long, Sword had started a sexual relationship with her biological son, for which she pled guilty and was sentenced to 9-30 years.

Theories as to what motivated Sword are stacking up like inbound flights at LAX, and her attorney says his client has decided to “seek counseling.“ Ha! Whether or not she’s curious about why she viewed her own child as a sexual object, or even which Simpson’s character will best represent her, she’s going to have both court-appointed and private psychiatrists muttering “idiot” under their breaths for the rest of her life –and on every reality show she’s ever “invited” to participate in.

But back to the theories…

There’s one that says that since Sword wasn’t around to raise her son, she wasn’t “inoculated” against a romantic fixation. A more household theory relates to Sword’s claim that she was abused as a child and that the “pattern” could be a partial cause. But the prizewinner making the rounds is GSA, or “Genetic Sexual Attraction” (are you listening Pfizer? GlaxoSmithKline?). Presumably, sufferers of GSA syndrome are ruled by incestuous romance and sexual fantasy.

GSA’s origins began with “The Forbidden Love” and continues with “I’m His Mother, But He’s Not My Son,” by Barbara Gonyo, a woman who –while making no excuses for her own “atrocious” behavior– does paint creepy pictures of clowns, children and a nature scene that, given the context, looks to me like a writhing orgy. But that might’ve been the power of suggestion, as her website, which supports others dealing with GSA, makes it soul-scorchingly clear that it isn’t a porn site or “a place to fantasize.” Neither is it, oddly, “for incest victims of childhood abuse or their abusers,” which sorta makes the whole bunch seem a bit all over the map. I’d think Gonyo would want to encourage incest victims to seek potentially pertinent information…

Okay-okay, despite the heavy “they just don’t understand us” vibe that permeates the GSA site –and I’m not denigrating Gonyo’s effort to educate the public– as far as I can tell, no one is claiming what GSA may sound like: that it’s in your DNA, and that the day your threw your tattle-tale sister into a ditch, genetics were routing you toward something rated XXX and so forth.

But others might make GSA an excuse, and that’s my beef! With all of this enlightening chatter about GSA, how long will it be until we hear someone tease a co-worker with, “Ooh, I think I have a GSA for the boss!” And how long after this cutesiness will we see full-blown GSA segments on the afternoon news or Dr. Oz? And never-mind that idiot, Aimee L. Sword, who –GSA-or-no-GSA– should have stepped the hell off and not pursued something she knew damn good ‘n well was Caligula-Level Wrong: when does all this become “treatable?” Because where ever there’s a cure, or more accurately, a diagnosis, you’ll find an excuse.

I’m just sayin’.