Posts Tagged ‘social media’

FULFILLMENT BEFORE FURY!

Wednesday, March 8th, 2017

There’s no excuse for getting all angst ridden over the day’s headlines before first accomplishing something meaningful. 

And there’s no excuse for partaking in America’s new national pastime –scratching the outrage itch– without first empowering yourself through personal performance. Fulfillment before fury!

Why? Because we live in a world that encourages us to agree with ourselves every chance we get. Because the strength we get from knowing that we put ourselves first has the power to declutter our thinking and make us feel as though we’ve earned something.

Examine the back end of any hard, successful day and track how much your sense of completion downgraded your anxiety. By comparison, how does a morning of social media feel, or reading articles from your preferred news outlets? (more…)

Christmas Cards My Ass

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2014

There are many excuses for not sending holiday cards. Here’re mine:

Holiday Cheer_Where Excuses Go to DieChristmas cards, holiday cards, greeting cards – whatever people wanna call ’em, I don’t care.

It’s been many years since I purchased a greeting card, because the greeting card industry has become insulting. It pushes homogenized sentiments and condescending condolences that are marketed as if buyers were monkeys. While card aisles and displays are perfectly convenient and, yes, could come in handy someday, I must say I did better in a prison cell with magazine collages, glue sticks, and agitated screamers to my left ‘n right.

Yes sir or ma’am: I heavily promoted my “John has turned over a new leaf” brand by mailing handmade greeting cards to friends and family who were on the fence about me. For one, I was determined to prove that my imagination would never be replaced by swastika tattoos and institutionalized hatred. Watching the arrival and transformation of so many gullible young men into seething and explosive monsters positively inspired me to trade even my meals for whatever I needed to stay creative, expressive, and weird.

And there were just certain things I couldn’t re-embrace upon returning to the civilian world. First among them, coincidentally, was store-bought greeting cards. Why? Because I was fresh out of the joint one day and nudged toward a cousin’s birthday party the next. I looked at the clock, gathered the things I’d need (accessing real scissors was a plus), and never looked back.

All these years and hundreds of greeting cards later, the only downside has been visiting my parents during the holidays to find my own card among their others, displayed writing-side out (as if the interior sentiment were the thing!). Apparently my mom is uncomfortable with the idea of guests commenting on the one that’s “different.” My cards are as professionally made as the Thomas Kinkades, yet the images I choose are antidotal to forced-marching-to-the-glowing-Christmas-cottage.

But never mind all that self-congratulatory poo, here are my excuses for not lifting a finger this year: (more…)

Check out Where Excuses Go to Die on Facebook!

Saturday, September 15th, 2012

Where Excuses Go to Die will be available in print and in all device formats January 2013.

Meanwhile, a Where Excuses Go to Die Facebook page lets me share what it’s like trying to get this story told; from the disappointed looks I get when I claim to have better hooks than rape, riots, and rotten food to rejection letters and go-for-its I’ve received along the way. There’ve been loonies attracted in the process, constant smoke being blown up my ass, and the dread of asking others to read pages. What a whole separate pathology that is! (Worse than issuing or accepting a personal loan.) And such fun, dealing with those who assume I’m a profit-hungry offender out for a payoff! Finally, there’s being along for the ride as the publishing world makes an ass of itself as it tries not to go out like the record industry. It’s all a completely separate journey from having paid my debt to society for robbing, um, bookstores. (more…)

Coming Soon: Facebook Murders!

Friday, September 23rd, 2011

Any day now, someone’s gonna beat a murder rap with a groan-inducing, precedent-setting “Facebook defense.”

How long until someone founds Facebook Anonymous, where folks 12-step their way to freedom from Facebook – anonymously? I can see it now: FA, a program dedicated to anonymously relieving you of your inability to live unidentified. Of course Step 1 is admitting you’re powerless over Facebook, that you’d rather spend 127 hours hacking at your own arm with a dull blade than disconnect from feeling “a part of…” Bet on it. It’s a joke now, but it won’t be for long. (more…)

Welcome to the Swelling

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Why will half of Americans be obese by 2030? You don’t need a doctor to know it’s ‘cause we’re injured.

Source: The Lancet, Volume 378, Issue 9793

Professor Boyd Swinburn of The International Obesity Task Force points out that obesity is “just a normal physiological response to an abnormal environment,” but a quick review of the causes of obesity shows just how ho-hum “abnormal” has become. Here are a few personal favorites:

Sedentary Lifestyle: Ye olde lack of exercise and physical activity: Opt for stairs over elevator? Ha! Park farther from work so I can walk more? Oh, sure! But be careful, sitting on your ass during the digital revolution means that when the real revolution happens, (more…)