On Juden Pond, Revisted

Back in March, I posted a story about a nothing pond in rural New Hampshire nicknamed “Jew Pond” after Jewish businessmen purchased it in 1920. It’s a smelly, man-made hole, really, but the nickname stuck despite the failure of the new owners to realize their vision of creating a vacation spot for previously verboten guests. This past September, the US Board of Geographic Names approved a vote by local residents to rename the pond after one of Mont Vernon’s founding families (more on the Carletons later).

My attempts to reach a town Selectman and a local journalist were met with unreturned messages. And the disembodied voices of suspicious old white ladies with whom I did speak hardened at the mere mention of Carleton Pond. This mosquito pit, you may know, received national and international attention throughout 2012, so it’s not surprising that certain residents (especially the geezers) are wary of being mocked again. As few would, they like don’t outsiders coming in –electronically or on ye ‘ol horseback– trying to change things.

But I didn’t want to close out the year without checking in on Mont Vernon to see how things went. And the answer is: just fine, as long as you don’t bring up that goddamned piss pool.

Shortly after the townspeople approved the name change and went off to make it official on government maps, Richard Masters, the town’s health officer, and local student filmmaker Kate Dobbs were honored by the New Hampshire Jewish Federation for their work in helping restore Mont Vernon’s dignity.

Eight months later, Rich Masters is still playing with local mold. Dobbs had been hired by the local newspaper but then “let go,” an old Colonial hag told me yesterday a little too cheerfully. May Dobbs have moved on to a higher purpose, to achieve great things for openminded people elsewhere to enjoy.

You can read more about Kate Dobbs’s and Rich Masters’s efforts to get to the bottom of Jew Pond and pull it’s plug HERE.

Some Came Running

“Aesthetic medicine” practitioner Dr. Jack Berdy has figured out a way to beat the game of poker by selling Botox injections to mid- and high-stakes card sharks to eliminate their “tells.” He calls this “Pokertox,” and while it’s really just a gimmicky repurposing and promotion of a ho-hum cosmetic, what it says about Berdy’s clientele is fascinating.

As Berdy deadens his patients’ faces to prevent nervous ticks, twitches, jumpy eyebrows, frowns, trembling lips, and other obvious signs of relief, annoyance, elation, or fear, he essentially removes all traces of the life they’ve lived from their expressions. On the one hand, if he’s successful and the other players are unable to read that face, Berdy will have replaced his client’s actual “character” with the character of a “winner.” He or she will, after all, have “won,” right? Since these days a receipt for that win is all that matters, whoever’s counting the pot at the end of the game is the clear victor here. It’s just funny that we’re talkin’ about adding or removing character with a syringe to triumph in a game traditionally viewed as a test of one’s mettle. Read more

WHAT DID ELMO KNOW?

Did Kevin Clash, the voice of Elmo, have  a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy? Apparently unaware that it’s still gross, Clash claimed things started only after the boy turned 18. What, did he wait for the kid’s “special” birthday? And WAS ELMO THERE? Sesame Street Workshop execs have known about the situation since June. Did Elmo protect the man who operated the puppet for more than 27 years? Will our furry red friend go out like Paterno, disgraced and weakened, or will he persist, forever a symbol of parental awkwardness?  

And who’s going explain Elmo’s sudden, if slight, voice change? Read more

The Voting Booth: (Also) Where Excuses Go to Die

I don’t hear excuses at polling places, do you? (Visit one to find out!) People tend to be nice to one another and there’s a sense of pride in the air. Maybe it’s just me, but standing in line at, say, a movie theater I overhear all sorts of moaning and groaning, griping and complaining, excuses and bullshit. Not so at polling places. Could it be because they quite literally host groups of people looking to follow through on a civic duty? Does that participatory feeling  – our basic right to vote –  somehow reduce a person’s desire to hear themselves rationalize and bitch? 

I enjoy walking to my elementary school polling place with neighbors of many years, getting all those sour grapes out of our system as we go. We clam up at the door, each of us growing reverent and and willing to follow instructions. There are usually about six of us; it’s a tradition and a community I cherish.

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Sunday Afternoon Cocaine Hangover

Each weekend, Gawker contributing editor Kiese Laymon posts an essay from readers. I usually enjoy ’em, but this week’s, not so much. Now I’m no Hunter Thompson, but I do feel qualified to comment on writer Ruth Fowler’s treatment of French cocaine and dirt-sex since they relate to personal responsibility, the consequences of one’s actions, and, of course, justifications and excuses — my daily obsessions. 

I can’t post Gawker’s content, so I’ll just have to hope you return to see how I weigh in. 

Ruth Is Heartless, But the World Breaks Everyone

 

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POLITICS ASIDE

Special Olympics “Global Messenger” John Stephens’ response to Ann Coulter’s Obama “retard” tweet is one that I’d love to see her fans brush aside. Forget Coulter’s literary conveyor belt, where is this guy’s book deal!?

 

 

Dear Ann Coulter,

Come on Ms. Coulter, you aren’t dumb and you aren’t shallow. So why are you continually using a word like the R-word as an insult?

I’m a 30 year old man with Down syndrome who has struggled with the public’s perception that an intellectual disability means that I am dumb and shallow. I am not either of those things, but I do process information more slowly than the rest of you. In fact it has taken me all day to figure out how to respond to your use of the R-word last night.

I thought first of asking whether you meant to describe the President as someone who was bullied as a child by people like you, but rose above it to find a way to succeed in life as many of my fellow Special Olympians have.

Then I wondered if you meant to describe him as someone who has to struggle to be thoughtful about everything he says, as everyone else races from one snarkey sound bite to the next.

Finally, I wondered if you meant to degrade him as someone who is likely to receive bad health care, live in low grade housing with very little income and still manages to see life as a wonderful gift.

Because, Ms. Coulter, that is who we are – and much, much more.

After I saw your tweet, I realized you just wanted to belittle the President by linking him to people like me. You assumed that people would understand and accept that being linked to someone like me is an insult and you assumed you could get away with it and still appear on TV.

I have to wonder if you considered other hateful words but recoiled from the backlash.

Well, Ms. Coulter, you, and society, need to learn that being compared to people like me should be considered a badge of honor.

No one overcomes more than we do and still loves life so much.

Come join us someday at Special Olympics. See if you can walk away with your heart unchanged.

A friend you haven’t made yet,
John Franklin Stephens
Global Messenger
Special Olympics Virginia

My Town Hall Debate Questions for Romney and Obama

Debate #2 of the 2012 election: Obama and Romney answer town hall style questions from undecided voters. Personally, I think I have better chance of convincing Aretha Franklin to give singing lessons to Lana Del Rey than I do of having even one of my questions answered, but here they are anyway.

Oh, and if style, body language, and poise are intended to trump substance, don’t worry – I’ve got that covered too. 

Question #1 – Mr. Obama –  Reuters is reporting today that a CIA captive and Guantanamo prisoner wrote a note criticizing NBA star LeBron James’s 2010 decision to leave the Cleveland Cavs for the Miami Heat. The note was treated as a top national secret for two months. If these are the kinds of headlines the Guantanamo Bay detention camp generates at this point, don’t you regret your failed pledge to close the camp within your first 100 days in office? Read more

“I Told You So” Level 8

On September 28, 2012, the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors’ Citizens’ Commission on Jail Violence released its official report on what the L.A. Times called, “a lack of meaningful oversight” within the County jail system, as well as “an institutional culture of arrogance and impunity” with regards to the L.A. Sheriff’s Department.

‘Course, when you’re one of the “bad guys,” you think twice about mentioning crappy accommodations and the uppity desk clerk. In part, that’s how things in L.A. got so bad – some people needed to forget, others questioned their right to say anything, and most doubted the likelihood of their being listened to. Read more

Whitney Kropp is No “Carrie”

Whitney Kropp – Photo credit, Dale G. Young/Detroit News

So who is this Whitney Kropp person, and why do we care? Well, the Michigan sophomore was elected to Homecoming Court by her winner schoolmates in an effort to humiliate her — no doubt for something egregious like failing to buy the latest handbag or iPhone.

Until recently, Whitney wasn’t too popular. She apparently keeps to herself, wears a lot of black, colors her hair, and has Kropp for a last name. So her being ridiculed by catty princesses and Brownshirts on the football team isn’t too surprising. But what these  products of idiot parenting didn’t realize is that putting a spotlight on an underdog in the hopes of embarrassing her only really results in spotlighting the underdog.

So when the West Branch dust settled, these “cool” kids found they’d actually succeeded in making an unpopular girl the most popular one in town.  Simply put, there’s no excuse not to love how this is turning out. Read more