Sidewalk Etiquette: Excuse Me or Excuse You?

November 28, 2011 by J. Nelson

**What’s your response when some self-absorbed Facebook profile marches into you because she’s looking at a phone?**

As a general rule, I (very clearly) say, “excuse you.” The same goes for when I’m blatantly cut off or elbowed. And especially at holiday time, my amusement grows in direct proportion to the indignation of the offender.

Today, on a sidewalk between Barnes & Noble and Banana Republic, a woman and I collided when her UGGs continued to trudge as she texted. Her eyes were still on the screen when she heard “excuse you” as I stepped around and away from her.

Inside B&N not four minutes later, I heard behind me an indignant voice saying, “…and this asshole son-of-a-bitch said, ‘excuse you,’ to me – shuh!” Having angrily brushed past me with the phone now at her ear, she’d pulled a U-turn outside and followed me into the store. Now she stopped and awaited the reaction to which evidentially felt entitled. She was suddenly a victim and was hissing the details of her ordeal to a friend – if there was anyone on the other end of her phone. Read more

Notes from a Non-Parent 4 – Thanksgiving Edition

November 22, 2011 by J. Nelson

Skip the Excuses: If You Waste Food You’re an Asshole

Q: How many Americans can legitimately claim they’ve never been told not to waste food? A: You don’t know any.

When I was a kid, being told I wouldn’t be excused from the table ‘til my plate was clean was a “cold rule.” Though sometimes lacking context, cold rules were made clear through enforcement, repetition, and amplification: “Don’t touch the stove,” for example, is an easy one. “Don’t insult the skeletal West African baby I want you to envision by leaving food on your plate” was a little harder to get behind. Yet some variation on the admonishment, “Do you know how many children are starving in this world?” was overheard in the home of every playmate and acquaintance I knew. We all sat there squirming until we resentfully swallowed enough disgusting and now-cold whatever-it-was to set us free. Read more

Get Ready for Occupy Wall Street: The Incessant Reminder!

November 16, 2011 by J. Nelson

If you groan when certain Baby-boomers pat themselves on the back for being at Woodstock and act as though rolling around in mud and feces on LSD actually helped this country, just wait for #OCCUPY, the Broadway musical!

On a recent visit to the pre-dismantled Zuccotti Park squat-in, I took lots of pictures of volunteers and protesters and hangers on. I pointed my camera at people’s faces in the hopes of cataloging future authors, artists, and politicians who will no doubt go on to trumpet their swashbuckling involvement. No, this isn’t an anti-civil disobedience, or anti-OWS rant, so don’t mistake my opinions for, “Back in ‘Nam I ate a Viet Cong heart, Hippie, so don’t you tell me!” It ain’t like that, trust me: I’m trying to avoid turning into my dad.

Notes from a Non-Parent 3

November 3, 2011 by J. Nelson

Mom Offers Inferior Excuse for Parental Neglect

Source Story: CBS News Crimesider

Nicole Leszczynski left a supermarket without paying for a sandwich she’d eaten because she says she was suffering a “Mommy-brained moment.” In the process, she needlessly exposed her 2-year-old to removal by state Child Welfare Services. So is she absent-minded, full of it, or both? And why are so many “customer service” employees bored and petty little Napoleons?

Allegedly, this incident sparked a “nationwide outrage,” but then 60 of those happen every week. Plus it happened in Honolulu, Hawaii. If it got past you, too, here’s the deal: Read more

Raging Bull

October 25, 2011 by J. Nelson

Mother unapologetic after shooting toddler-chomping pit bull, but no one gets sued and devil dog lives

Original Story: Yuba City Appeal Democrat

A neighbor’s dog wandering into your backyard and biting your child means Drag Race Day. The green light hits and you go: no hesitation and no time for tact. Your foot nails the gas pedal and you point the horsepower at the end of the asphalt. Whatever gets in your way sounds like a melon hitting a barrel, then like a dinner salad falling to the floor. Or so went my reaction upon reading this story. ‘Course, I don’t have kids or guns or drag race cars because any one of those things would get me into trouble. Read more

To Live and Drive in L.A.

October 17, 2011 by J. Nelson

Source: The Guardian

At first I relished debating the merits and missteps of the indie film Drive far more than I enjoyed the film itself. But thanks to Sarah Deming, the Michigan woman who filed a lawsuit alleging that Drive’s trailer is misleading and the movie’s content anti-Semitic, I now welcome the flick to the crime/car chase genre. Read more

A Word to the Wide

September 14, 2011 by J. Nelson

We can fail repeatedly, but we aren’t failures until we blame someone else.

Source: Chicago Sun Times

By Martin Kessman’s own admission, the 290-pounder refuses to enter his favorite fast food feeder, White Castle, requiring his wife to retrieve his preferred meals for him. An embarrassed Kessman wouldn’t set foot in the restaurant after his repeated attempts to wrestle himself into booth-style seating succeeded only in entertaining and disturbing other diners. Read more

Poverty Pushing Commerce

September 6, 2011 by J. Nelson

These days, restaurants and retail outlets vie for food stamp business. Remember No Shoes, No Shirt – No Service? Just pack that silly ‘ol sentiment away with the antique Coca Cola and WHITES ONLY signs!

Source: USA Today

So it’s like that, huh? There are enough poor and low-income people to serve the economy, but not enough economy to serve poor and low-income people. It’s nothing new, really, but even ideas you thought you were used to can stop you in your tracks sometimes. Case in point: fast food corporations are taking advantage of a U.S. Department of Agriculture/FDA loophole that allows disabled, elderly, and homeless people (who lack ability or resources to prepare food) to use Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits at their restaurants. With more than 45 million Americans walking around with SNAP electronic benefits transfer (EBT) cards, it’s all the excuse the corporate owners of McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, KFC, Subway, and Taco Bell need to turn SNAP into an almost direct federal subsidy

What’s your response when some self-absorbed Facebook profile marches into you because she’s looking at a phone?