To Cain and Conrad: GET CHARACTER OR BECOME ONE

12/01/2011 by J. Nelson

Yesterday I participated in a call-in radio interview with station 1290 AM in North Texas called Real Life Talk, hosted by author David Sabine, Ph.D. The man is an accomplished clinical psychologist who, as you might expect, has a soothing tenor and is easy to speak with, plus you couldn’t pay the guy to interrupt you.

I was invited twice previously to Sabine’s show to discuss personal responsibility, excuses, and the mental cases/ethical shape shifters we Americans are quickly becoming. First we usually bat around the ball of my background and the story behind my forthcoming book, Where Excuses Go to Die, and from there we get down to business. Today that meant Dr. Conrad Murray and Mr. Herman Cain. Read more

Sidewalk Etiquette: Excuse Me or Excuse You?

11/28/2011 by J. Nelson

**What’s your response when some self-absorbed Facebook profile marches into you because she’s looking at a phone?**

As a general rule, I (very clearly) say, “excuse you.” The same goes for when I’m blatantly cut off or elbowed. And especially at holiday time, my amusement grows in direct proportion to the indignation of the offender.

Today, on a sidewalk between Barnes & Noble and Banana Republic, a woman and I collided when her UGGs continued to trudge as she texted. Her eyes were still on the screen when she heard “excuse you” as I stepped around and away from her.

Inside B&N not four minutes later, I heard behind me an indignant voice saying, “…and this asshole son-of-a-bitch said, ‘excuse you,’ to me – shuh!” Having angrily brushed past me with the phone now at her ear, she’d pulled a U-turn outside and followed me into the store. Now she stopped and awaited the reaction to which evidentially felt entitled. She was suddenly a victim and was hissing the details of her ordeal to a friend – if there was anyone on the other end of her phone. Read more

Notes from a Non-Parent 4 – Thanksgiving Edition

11/22/2011 by J. Nelson

Skip the Excuses: If You Waste Food You’re an Asshole

Q: How many Americans can legitimately claim they’ve never been told not to waste food? A: You don’t know any.

When I was a kid, being told I wouldn’t be excused from the table ‘til my plate was clean was a “cold rule.” Though sometimes lacking context, cold rules were made clear through enforcement, repetition, and amplification: “Don’t touch the stove,” for example, is an easy one. “Don’t insult the skeletal West African baby I want you to envision by leaving food on your plate” was a little harder to get behind. Yet some variation on the admonishment, “Do you know how many children are starving in this world?” was overheard in the home of every playmate and acquaintance I knew. We all sat there squirming until we resentfully swallowed enough disgusting and now-cold whatever-it-was to set us free. Read more