Sandusky the Football

Posted on by J. Nelson

Jerry Sandusky is by far the most notorious pedophile of modern times. Though we’re only now learning that he may have used the U.S. Postal Service to seduce his victims with gifts and travel, the capacity and scope of such emerging details isn’t surprising. Likewise, reactions to an ongoing investigation into whether Sandusky shared child porn via the Internet range from revulsion to indifference. Some call it flogging a dead horse, especially now that Sandusky has been convicted and incarcerated. Others, myself included, believe this will be the most important development of all: the opportunity to expose his (newly alleged) accomplices and their reach. 

If the NCAA, the athletic association that punished Pennsylvania State University for what it called “an unprecedented failure of institutional integrity,” can affirm that the school held the esteem of its football program higher than “the values of human decency,” the government has no excuse not to follow every conceivable evidentiary offshoot and kill what it finds.  Read more

The Worst Feeling in the World

Posted on by J. Nelson 1 Comment

What could gnaw at you more than knowing you hit a pedestrian and raced away? What if the person was dead – and all over the news? Knowing a little something of what the guy who hit me endured, I can’t help but wonder about the fugitives from a recent string of hit ‘n run fatalities in L.A.

In 2003 I was hit by a rather tightly wound individual (read: dickhead) driving a brand new Jaguar S-Type who left me for dead in the middle of the intersection at Lincoln Blvd & Rose Ct. in Venice, CA. Bystanders tended to me while good Samaritans yelled to each other about the direction in which the Jaguar had fled. I awoke in the middle of the commotion, looking up at the June sky and feeling freezing cold. My head was being held very still above a pool of blood. I was beginning to hyperventilate, which made some lady above me cry.

A man ran up and yelled, “Here! Here! I have his address! I followed him to some condos up that way!” I heard a stampede of boots and feet running for cars, then several peel outs. By then several cops had arrived, seeking a culprit to question or cuff and being unleashed like that is what Badges live for.

Read more

Where Excuses Go to Die is now on Facebook

Posted on by J. Nelson

And the creation of its page coincides with the crumbling of the walls around that secret society of thugs known as the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. With its members turning on each other and the Men’s Central Jail in downtown L.A. finally being exposed for the Academy of Excessive Force it’s always been, I figured it was time to share what it’s been like to bring this story to market. Read more

There’s No Excuse for Not Using Sony Cameras

Posted on by J. Nelson 1 Comment

Such picture quality! How can those contrasts be so precise? I’ve never seen bugged-out eyes so huge and clear. You can almost taste the crack resin on his breath from the burning chunk of Brillo-pad he used as a screen in his pipe — wow! I’m telling ‘ya there’s a reason Sony’s XDCAM 422 is the industry standard.


For extended nighttime high speed chases with freakish tongue wagging and multi-collision wrap-ups you just can’t beat Sony. Check out the difference between the lesser quality, undercarriage-mounted heli-cam and the handheld 422 on the ground. You know they’re not strappin’ Sony money to the skids on that bird, so no surprise the air footage is pixy and lame. But that all-up-in-your-sorry-grill XD422 captures details your dreams won’t forget. Read more

Home is Where the Abuse is…

Posted on by J. Nelson

In the video clip he posted to YouTube, Oscar Lopez can be heard asking neighbor Anthony Sanchez, “Why don’t you come over here and teach ME!?” Lopez, you see, had just captured footage of Sanchez lashing his stepson with a belt for failing to catch a baseball. 

Sanchez turned himself in on Friday, after the clip went viral. On Saturday, he resigned his post as director of California’s Imperial Irrigation District. He’s now being held on $100,000 bail for suspicion of felony child abuse, yet another elected official implicated for yet another failure of character.

Now I realize that many adults over a certain age had the crap kicked out of them as children, and I also know that serious child abuse is often a cycle. Sanchez, age 34, probably knows these things too. What he doesn’t seem to realize, however, is that there’s no excuse for wailing on a kid either way.

And what was Stepfather of the Year’s excuse?  In the footage he can be heard responding to Lopez, “The boy suffers from ADHD! Do you know how he acts?” Well okay then, Sanchez, by that standard you need a head-punch and 2 face-slaps. Read more

Shouldn’t Undercooked Homeless Man Cash In Too?

Posted on by J. Nelson 1 Comment
Nicholas Carlesi captured what is thought to be the last last photo of Ronald Poppo before 75% of his face was chewed off.

Last week, nearly all the major media outlets and countless web destinations profited from leaked photos of Ronald Poppo’s eaten up face and the 9-1-1 calls reporting his attack. It’s bad enough that the rest of his miserable life is gonna be spent in pain and beef jerky jokes, there’s no excuse for Ronnie not gettin’ a slice…uh, a cut, a chunk – some money!

I mean, we don’t look homeless people in the eye or give ’em the time of day. We can’t stop to unfold a buck or two and we’ll cross the street if it means avoiding one. But let a bum get his face chewed off and we become wide-eyed pigeons, pecking at the ground — or in this case clicking though channels and websites — for salacious crumbs.

As quickly as the photos were leaked, only to go viral, is as quickly as I decided against lookin’ at ’em. I assure you it isn’t because I’m “mature” ‘n what not, and practically nothing grosses me out. What bothers me is the idea of celebrating sensationalism. Number one, I already knew the gruesome images would resemble a plate of chicken mole enchiladas, and number two, what’s the message? It sure as hell isn’t “homeless people deserve respect.” Read more

U.S. Secret Service: Strictly a Class Move

Posted on by J. Nelson

–Broken links reinserted– 

Those beer dicks in the Secret Service could and should have avoided the international embarrassment of  “forced diplomatic intervention” that at least one Columbian pimp resorted to when denied payment. Who cares that prostitution is legal in Columbia, you puffed-up jocks: you hire a hooker, you still have to pay the hooker. 

Forget about integrity or honor, good behavior, credibility, or even operational security or diplomatic bearing. Just be a decent human being and pay the person who gave you the Wet Monkey Wrench of your life. Not many of ‘em are in this for fun, after all. Read more

The Year I Drove Around with “FUCKER!” Carved into my Door

Posted on by J. Nelson 1 Comment

A whole year! Couldn’t go anywhere without catching people’s double-takes and obliging demands for backstory. This is what my “get character or become one” philosophy  is made of. I didn’t have the character to resist cheating on my girlfriend, so I became – for about a year – the jerk with “FUCKER!” carved into the door of his Jeep Cherokee.

At the time I had no idea what any of it meant, other than that I’d been caught and my girlfriend’s response was excessive and crazy. It took a while for me to get a clue. But from that year behind the wheel my biggest takeaway turned out to be a giveaway – and you’re reading it. Read more