Reusable Irony

For just a dollar, Starbucks patrons can now wait in line with newly purchased, reusable coffee cups. Never mind that the plastic lids and cups are identical in appearance to their disposable predecessors: buyers will be able to personalize them, so a related micro-industry of reusable coffee cup ornamentation will no doubt arise before you’re done reading this.

But because this reusable Starbucks tumbler is a visual match to a highly recognizable symbol of the downtrodden  –an over-the-counter coffee cup–  I’m looking forward to watching it make its way from the hands of the homeless and into the hands of the privileged. I’m talkin’ about skinny-pants and cool moms, coming in off the street and waving their empty cups at strangers, just like those they ignore on the sidewalk. The irony is cruel, exquisite, and reusable.
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Chick-fil-A Child’s Play

Since there’s apparently no escaping the current Chick-fil-A controversy, I’ve gotta ask: Are anti-Chick-fil-A activists actually promoting the tolerance they demand, or are they teaching kids to loudly and publicly demonize those who disagree with them? Despite having another means of redress – i.e. a choice not to give the restaurant chain their money – many Chick-fil-A activists seem to be celebrating their martyrdom instead.

The carnival-like atmosphere captured by news cameras shows singing and dancing, face-painting, colorful costumes, banners, and laughter-loving friends lining sidewalks and holding hands. Problem is, most of those cheery signs are emblazoned with the word, “HATE,” so I’m left wondering what the impressions of a six-year-old watching this spectacle might be. Read more

“Journey to the Center of a Sandwich” — An Excerpt

This week’s post is an excised chapter of Where Excuses Go to Die, the forthcoming book for which this blog serves as a pre-publishing playground. Like many of the book’s chapters, Sandwich began life as a prison journal entry before being performed as a spoken word piece.  Since it got pulled from the book, I thought you might enjoy it here.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF A SANDWICH

California Rehabilitation Center (CRC) – Norco, Level II 

5th Street & Western Norco, CA 92860

The first bite tasted fine – for a prison sandwich. I’d already given the thing a cellblock once-over, scanning for obvious stuff like bugs, matches, dirt, and pieces of human. I’d also reexamined it as I made improvements: contraband mustard, nips of onion, a razor-cut tomato. In custody, firm, fresh tomatoes are more expensive than chocolate but they’re worth it. A good tomato can make or break a sandwich anywhere, anytime. While doing time, their value triples. Read more