LA County Sheriff’s Christmas Special

Top 10 reasons you’re glad these

losers are being made examples of

County Sheriff’s Christmas Special_Where Excuses Go to Die

“There’s no perfect law enforcement agency anywhere in the world, let alone the United States.”
– Sheriff Lee Baca on the FBI indictment of 18 LA Sheriff’s Deputies
(A ceremonial dagger of an excuse for poor leadership if there ever was one.)

Top 10 reasons you’re glad these losers are being made examples of…

Steve Whitmore_Where Excuses Go to Die10. Because it marks the beginning of the end of spokesman Steve Whitmore’s lifework of being Mr. Smithers to Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca’s C. Montgomery Burns. You did it Steve: “Teflon” Sheriff Baca would be seen for the aluminum foil he really is were it not for your iron soul.
 
A LINE RECRUITS SHOULDN'T CROSS_Where Excuses Go to Die9. Because Deputy Sheriff “Honor Recruits” shouldn’t emerge from the academy already whistleblowers or be worried about which intra-departmental gang they should join. Nice prison yard values, Sheriff Baca.
 
Isn't this what we're talking about?_Where Excuses Go to Die8. Because the “wisdom, common sense, and fairness” cited in the “Core Values” of the LA Sheriff’s Department can no longer be worth less than whatever is gained by beating disabled and mentally ill prisoners in Baca’s jails.
 
The LAUSD is My Hometown Sports team_Where Excuses Go to Die7. Because STUDENTS OVER STORMTROOPERS! Fat civil payouts intended to settle excessive force lawsuits shouldn’t be written off as the cost of doing business with Sheriff Lee Baca — not when student attendance, engagement, and achievement in the Los Angeles Unified School District could be improved by funding the continued implementation of Common Core State Standards.
 
3000 Boys Gang sign_KTLA photo6. Because the LASD has consistently demonstrated an inability to make course corrections despite Baca’s insistence to the contrary during yesterday’s press conference (and every other one he’s given in the past several years). Rather than changing policy or solving problems, the department typically launches witch hunts into who ratted to the media leaked sensitive information. (Certainly Operation Pandora’s Box seems to have proved that true.) 
 
APOCALYPSE-HOOSEGOW_Where Excuses Go to Die5. Because (speaking of leaked documents) 71% of the department’s hires in 2010 were rejects from other law enforcement agencies. Ha! “Welcome Discipline Problems In Waiting!” Are these the “few bad apples” to whom Steve Whitmore defensively refers, ad-nauseum? As if this department didn’t have enough problems: it’s hiring criteria just might become the crown jewel of jokes about incompetent law enforcement.
 
THEY'RE COMING TO GET YOU BARBARA_Where Excuses Go to Die4. Because in Cabalistic Numerology, the number 18 relates to secrets, lies, selfishness, criminality, destruction, difficulties, sickness, danger, and the disposition of accidents. (Look, these can’t all be winners, can they?)
 
Burrito de Pollo y Blanco_Where Excuses Go to Die3. Because HEROIN BURRITOS! Come on, what did a delicious burrito de pollo do to deserve such mistreatment!? What did Los Angeles do to deserve national headlines about its Sheriff’s Deputies smuggling gutter-grade economy heroin through its criminal courtrooms and into adjacent holding cells for distribution back at the jails? Oh, that’s right, it failed to fire Lee Baca – even at his request. 
Haa-cha-cha-cha-cha!2. Because if the blasted Vatican can finally cough up a better Pope, certainly Angelenos can elect a better Sheriff. The LA County Sheriff’s Department does have many decent, law-abiding and even gracious deputies, people who are from (and for) the communities they serve. And to be fair, as Baca claims, the majority are “on the right track,” which makes it imperative they be given a better boss.

…and finally

16-of-the-18_KTLA NEWS1. Because cops shouldn’t idealize, mimic, emulate, protect, tattoo themselves with, or promote thug life attitudes or gang-banger politics. I’m an ex-felon, a convicted multiple armed robber. My reasons for respecting law enforcement and police are very personal and go to places only cops and robbers can, psychologically, spiritually, and so forth. I have good reasons to look forward to the day when the LASD isn’t thought of as criminals, racist goons, and real estate con artists. Some of them, I call friends.
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