The Guilt-ploitation of Celebrity Self-criticism

Lohan copies Garrison’s guilt trip, receives ovation for Tonight Show remorse

Original Story: The Hollywood Reporter

Well, we could’a set our watches by this one, but who sets watches anymore?

For what’s being called a “surprise” appearance on the Tonight Show, Team Lohan scrambled and cat-clawed to get the troubled media figure on the air somewhere, anywhere, to prime the pump for a coming Lohan Turn-around. At the expense of a previously scheduled guest, now there’s actual footage of Lindsay’s regurgitated, halfhearted contrition.

Apparently, actor Lane Garrison’s public assumption of responsibility for killing a kid while driving drunk has set a new “Own Your Mistakes” standard for troubled young celebrities looking to turn their careers – I mean themselves – around. The jury’s still out on whether this is genuine or more of the, “We don’t have to actually BE sincere as long as we appear to be” huckster code of a floundering media figure; as I’ve said, it’s still early.

In terms of the Lohan PR team, after all the zingers and swipes had been tabulated the Tonight Show turned out to have been least cruel to the defiant, tantrum-throwing ethics casualty (which I’m betting is more a testament to Leno’s following in Carson’s classier footsteps than deference to the cult of celebrity). And still, Lohan failed to come off as remorseful and somber as Garrison did in his interview with Matt Lauer. She did imply that her troublemaking days are over by referring to herself as older and wiser, as if somewhere she’d been handed some sort of adult-world placement certificate. Using phrases like, “a position that I was in,” as if placed there by someone else, doesn’t exactly declare, “Hey, that was me: I own that!” Nor does it say, “I’m in the clear now.”

But like Garrison, only time will tell if this shtick will stick.