Posts Tagged ‘cocaine’

Court Referred Community Service Diary – 3

Monday, March 17th, 2014

“His jaw was working harder than a hog’s hips at a crowded trough.”

I really did mean to pay the ticket on time, but when both extensions I’d requested were granted, so much time passed that I marginalized its importance. When I finally faced the music, the Traffic Commissioner was happy to suspend my hefty fine in exchange for 50 hours of community service at a local Goodwill Donation Center. Welcome to #3 in a series…(Parts 1 and 2 are here and here.)

March 10, 2014 – Goodwill Donation Center, Wednesday

Microwave Isotropic and Anisotropic SuperconductorsOnly when you’re outta your mind on blow do you pay $59 for a thrift-store microwave oven circa 1995 by leaving a deposit with the manager, going to your car, and coming back for the thing a mere 15 minutes later. Only when your head is reeling from cocaine psychosis do you not realize you’re wiping your mouth in a forward motion with the back of your hands like a rat. And only when you’re anxious about returning to your car for more booger-sugar does your “inside voice” become your Dodger Stadium voice.


One Million Prison Inmates Can’t Be Wrong

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

Charlie Sheen is a national hero!

In June of this year journalist Johanna Piazza asked me what I thought might account for Charlie “Bad Lieutenant” Sheen’s – and by extension Two and a Half Men’s – soaring popularity among incarcerated men in America. (more…)

The Public Face of Booger Sugar: Drug Cartels to Sponsor Paris Hilton

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

Paris Hilton proposes Ground Zero NarcoCartel Memorial Statue to honor fallen heroes

Original Story: | Wednesday, Sept. 1, 2010

Sound silly? Why? Shouldn’t Mexico’s drug cartels be sending Paris Hilton ‘Thank You’ bouquets and paying her legal fees right about now? (more…)